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I've come to discover that maintaining organization is maintaining control. Or as much control as a person can really have.
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Hey all! I figured it was time for some change/ This journal will be deleted within a week. You guys can find me at my newly created account :


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I am frustrated beyond comprehension at this point. I am just incredibly stressed out with all this bullshit.
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    I guess in a way it's good to know where I stand, however frustrating it might be. So much to do and not a split second of time for anything or anyone else. Save running errands for his mother. I am second place. Runner up to a truck. A fucking truck. I guess that's what he came home for right. The truck and Reijo. I should've seen it coming. From a mile away. I was given fair warning, wasn't i? I guess I'm just being stupid.
    When I look for help and support, a shoulder, I get pushed away. And then he wonders why I won't talk to him. Why I'm angry with him... A little foolish. He bitches and bitches about how he wants me to open up and how he wants me to share my thoughts. The second I'm willing to, he pushes me away. I was ready and willing to say "Hey! let's go to Alberta for awhile, gimme some details," but how can I go to Alberta with some one who won't even talk to me? Wouldn't that just be foolish.
    I miss the more uncomplicated life of being young. Sure,  I had my difficulties when I was young, but who didn't, right? I want to go back there. I want to go back to when my parents made decisions for me. Back to when I always had someone to depend on me.
    I'm losing my sanity.
State of mind:
bored bored
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